I am learning that life is not random-things do not “just”
happen. I am convicted that I have not
been fully living out my purpose. I know
I have down played my own story, unfortunately missing out on many
opportunities to share about what the Lord is doing in and through me for the
sake of others. I can also share that
through my obedience doors are opening and lives
are being changed! The Lord has been
nudging my heart for over a year now (lets be honest more like a life time), he
is calling me to be more vocal about him and encourage women to do the
same. A year ago I could not have
verbalized that simple statement nor would I have dared to be brave enough to live
it out.
Today I can say He
has rendered my heart through my own life experiences-some through great suffering
and others great joy. Obedience as
mentioned above comes from digging into the living word (the bible), listening
to Christ prompting and then being willing
to move in that direction. You may ask
where in the world is this coming from?
Let’s take a trip a few months back where a conversation with a friend
sparked a fire in my soul; that then led to reading the book, Restless by Jennie
Allen. This book catapulted a monthly gathering called IF: Table and I simultaneously
started helping plan IF: Gathering. The IF organization was created by Jennie
Allen in which she asked herself, IF
Jesus is real, IF he is who he says he is, then what am I doing about? What
am I doing about it? (Read links below for more information about IF: Gathering
in your local area.)
Her book and the
whole IF organization is designed to remind women that we have a purpose-our
very own specially designed God given purpose.
Something struck a chord in in the pit of my stomach that “IF” I don’t
live out my purpose designed specifically for me then no one else will. My purpose becomes null and void,
absolutely unused. Now hear me out
my life will not be completely null and void and the Lord still uses us in ways
we may not realize BUT can you imagine a day to day existence living out what
the Lord has asked of you? When I get to
heaven I don’t imagine the Lord hashing out all the things I did wrong because the
bible says by the blood of the lamb I am saved!
On the other hand I see Him more so showing
me all the things I did not do and could have done. He will show me the missed opportunities and the
times in life He needed to use me but I was not available.
Satan finds great joy in stealing our “Availability.” Ladies, grab your cup of tea and come with me
as I dive in deep showing you how I have personally allowed Satan to silence me
and rob me from my available moments to serve the Lord. In general he feeds me lies letting me know
my story isn’t enough; I am not pretty enough, smart enough, interesting
enough, clever enough, cool enough, in shape enough, Godly enough, fast enough,
put together enough, young enough, patient enough, etc. Well, you know what the Lord says-HE is
enough, which makes any circumstances in my life ENOUGH-I just have to be willing
to be used. Who am I to decide if my
story is good enough to help someone else out?
In light of the
conversation here are some real life stories I often do not share and the lies
I tell myself in order to keep quiet. I
do not mention my high school eating disorder because it wasn’t traumatic
enough. I did not get hospitalized
therefore it must not be that big of a deal.
It was a big deal and it robbed me of many years of being a kid and it
changed me forever BUT through Christ I am
healed. I rarely mention my broken
childhood, emotionally absent father, divorce, verbal abuse, childhood guilt
because I was loved by so many family members, sheltered, well fed, even celebrated
birthdays-it makes me ungrateful if I mention the hard parts. That part of my life was real though, some
places still not fully healed BUT through
Christ there is hope and in other parts Jesus filled me with wisdom and
strength. A heavy subject I definitely
don’t mention is promiscuity because Satan easily reminds me of how “weak” I
was. Had a Godly woman pulled me to the
side, poured into me and shared more in depth about honoring my body just maybe
my choices would have been different. Because of Christ I can be that woman for
someone else. And today many times when
I want to write I often hear a voice telling me not too because someone else
has probably already written about that subject. You know what happens when I go to Christ; He
says that is probably true but no one
says it like you…PERIOD. My articles
may not reach many but if they reach one then I am living my purpose fully.
Marriage ups and downs, parent fails, friendships lost, selfish motives-they
are a part of my story, the very story God is using to help others see that
through it all the Lord gives a never ending abundant amount of grace.
Every story is
important and every person has a specific purpose to live out. When we live a life filled with an intentional
purpose to serve and to share our stories we can move mountains ladies…
MOUNTAINS! We have the power through the
Holy Spirit to change generations, through breaking negative patterns passed
down through years of generational sin. We can do this together, serve as a
solid unit-rise up as one BRAVE army.
For I believe it is Satan’s great
accomplishment to separate us from each other because he knows the power
women have when we rise up in Christ and live out the message of Jesus together. Paul wrote in Romans 5:19, “For just as
through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also
through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.” Which category do you fall into? Which one do you want to fall into? Through your story, the bumps and bruises
the joys and sorrows, the shame and embarrassment, and through the triumphs and
failures, Christ will use you.
Your purpose is
important! Make yourself available and watch the incredible adventure begin,
as Christ is ready to use you. I
continue to assume “things” about other women, even my very own friends and
just last night at an IF: Table gathering as each woman opened up I was struck
at how much we need each other to show up to the table with no
assumptions. We are all a hot mess and
there is so much beauty in our broken pieces.
Be beautifully broken because
Christ will use every single piece for His glory. Share your stories. Live out your purpose!
Here is the main link to explain IF, IF Table, IF Equip, IF Local and IF
Gathering. And here is a specific
link to the Longview/
Marshall IF: Gathering hosted at Mobberly with other local churches the
first weekend in February.
Image above is from google-I did not create it!
