IF and Purpose

 I am learning that life is not random-things do not “just” happen.  I am convicted that I have not been fully living out my purpose.  I know I have down played my own story, unfortunately missing out on many opportunities to share about what the Lord is doing in and through me for the sake of others.  I can also share that through my obedience doors are opening and lives are being changed!  The Lord has been nudging my heart for over a year now (lets be honest more like a life time), he is calling me to be more vocal about him and encourage women to do the same.  A year ago I could not have verbalized that simple statement nor would I have dared to be brave enough to live it out. 

  Today I can say He has rendered my heart through my own life experiences-some through great suffering and others great joy.  Obedience as mentioned above comes from digging into the living word (the bible), listening to Christ prompting and then being willing to move in that direction.  You may ask where in the world is this coming from?  Let’s take a trip a few months back where a conversation with a friend sparked a fire in my soul; that then led to reading the book, Restless by Jennie Allen. This book catapulted a monthly gathering called IF: Table and I simultaneously started helping plan IF: Gathering. The IF organization was created by Jennie Allen in which she asked herself, IF Jesus is real, IF he is who he says he is, then what am I doing about? What am I doing about it? (Read links below for more information about IF: Gathering in your local area.)

  Her book and the whole IF organization is designed to remind women that we have a purpose-our very own specially designed God given purpose.  Something struck a chord in in the pit of my stomach that “IF” I don’t live out my purpose designed specifically for me then no one else will. My purpose becomes null and void, absolutely unused.  Now hear me out my life will not be completely null and void and the Lord still uses us in ways we may not realize BUT can you imagine a day to day existence living out what the Lord has asked of you?  When I get to heaven I don’t imagine the Lord hashing out all the things I did wrong because the bible says by the blood of the lamb I am saved!  On the other hand I see Him more so showing me all the things I did not do and could have done.  He will show me the missed opportunities and the times in life He needed to use me but I was not available.

 Satan finds great joy in stealing our “Availability.”  Ladies, grab your cup of tea and come with me as I dive in deep showing you how I have personally allowed Satan to silence me and rob me from my available moments to serve the Lord.  In general he feeds me lies letting me know my story isn’t enough; I am not pretty enough, smart enough, interesting enough, clever enough, cool enough, in shape enough, Godly enough, fast enough, put together enough, young enough, patient enough, etc.  Well, you know what the Lord says-HE is enough, which makes any circumstances in my life ENOUGH-I just have to be willing to be used.  Who am I to decide if my story is good enough to help someone else out? 

  In light of the conversation here are some real life stories I often do not share and the lies I tell myself in order to keep quiet.  I do not mention my high school eating disorder because it wasn’t traumatic enough.  I did not get hospitalized therefore it must not be that big of a deal.  It was a big deal and it robbed me of many years of being a kid and it changed me forever BUT through Christ I am healed.  I rarely mention my broken childhood, emotionally absent father, divorce, verbal abuse, childhood guilt because I was loved by so many family members, sheltered, well fed, even celebrated birthdays-it makes me ungrateful if I mention the hard parts.  That part of my life was real though, some places still not fully healed BUT through Christ there is hope and in other parts Jesus filled me with wisdom and strength.  A heavy subject I definitely don’t mention is promiscuity because Satan easily reminds me of how “weak” I was.   Had a Godly woman pulled me to the side, poured into me and shared more in depth about honoring my body just maybe my choices would have been different.  Because of Christ I can be that woman for someone else.  And today many times when I want to write I often hear a voice telling me not too because someone else has probably already written about that subject.  You know what happens when I go to Christ; He says that is probably true but no one says it like you…PERIOD.  My articles may not reach many but if they reach one then I am living my purpose fully. Marriage ups and downs, parent fails, friendships lost, selfish motives-they are a part of my story, the very story God is using to help others see that through it all the Lord gives a never ending abundant amount of grace. 

  Every story is important and every person has a specific purpose to live out.   When we live a life filled with an intentional purpose to serve and to share our stories we can move mountains ladies… MOUNTAINS!  We have the power through the Holy Spirit to change generations, through breaking negative patterns passed down through years of generational sin.  We can do this together, serve as a solid unit-rise up as one BRAVE army.  For I believe it is Satan’s great accomplishment to separate us from each other because he knows the power women have when we rise up in Christ and live out the message of Jesus together.  Paul wrote in Romans 5:19, “For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.”  Which category do you fall into?  Which one do you want to fall into?   Through your story, the bumps and bruises the joys and sorrows, the shame and embarrassment, and through the triumphs and failures, Christ will use you. 

  Your purpose is important!  Make yourself available and watch the incredible adventure begin, as Christ is ready to use you.  I continue to assume “things” about other women, even my very own friends and just last night at an IF: Table gathering as each woman opened up I was struck at how much we need each other to show up to the table with no assumptions.  We are all a hot mess and there is so much beauty in our broken pieces.  Be beautifully broken because Christ will use every single piece for His glory. Share your stories. Live out your purpose!

Here is the main link to explain IF, IF Table, IF Equip, IF Local and IF Gathering.  And here is a specific link to the Longview/ Marshall IF: Gathering hosted at Mobberly with other local churches the first weekend in February.  

Image above is from google-I did not create it!

It’s All About Me

  

  Honest question…When I do what I do-Why do I do what I do?   Really, have you EVER spent a day asking yourself that simple question?  I think the Lord is fine tuning me once again which is good because finding contentment here on Earth is not something to strive for and the truth is I NEVER will find it here. I am feeling challenged to take note of my motives during each day.

  Time?  It really is something you can’t buy.  Not even Donald Trump has enough money to buy more time.  So the question I ask myself is, do I utilize my time to fulfill HIS bigger picture?  Am I showing my family, my friends and strangers around me the real Christ?  The one who washes dirty nasty feet, mingles with the lost, comforts the sick, encourages those in need, finds joy in all things, makes time to serve others including family members.  The key question is- do the things I do point back to me- or the Lord?  Leading to my next question, what are MY motives? 

  In the daily grind do I add building blocks into others lives or am I chipping away at what they have already built?  When I lay my head to rest at night do I hear,  “Good Job well and faithful servant!”  Or am I still trying to figure out how many people saw my latest FB post and liked it.  I fall into both categories!  I am far from perfect, some day’s listening well to the whispers from above and others falling prey to worldly commotion.  What are MY motives to the following questions:  Why am I speeding? Why am I checking my phone…again?  Why did I text and drive?  Why did I join a new Bible study?  Why did I drop a meal off to a friend?  Why am I short with my answers to the ones I love?  I am human, the answer to many of those questions are because I am impatient, selfish and seek praise from others BUT the answer to some are to honor Jesus and to serve with no recognition in return.  This is not a topic I want to be balanced in; I want the scale to be completely weighted in God’s favor.  In John 3:30 it says, “He must become greater, I must become less.”  The smaller I become the BIGGER He becomes, my motivation in ALL things becomes much less about ME but about GOD. 

 To be a bit transparent I can be selfish (Surprise-Surprise!) which by the dictionary’s terms is being concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure. Although, my achievements might look like success, they are certainly different tasks I have tackled ending in some sort of dusty trophy.  Ending in dust because the motives weren’t rooted in Christ and if the motives aren’t rooted in Christ then its NEVER going to last OR if it is lasting peace may be lacking. When I serve myself I will NEVER be serving my purpose!  In the looking glass of my past I see how I picked up photography with the right motives-learn to take professional pictures of my children-and save money while I am at it.  The motives were pure until I allowed the praise to determine my worth and the money clouded my judgment on time management. Although I found much joy as a photographer, it wasn’t the right time for me; it was not the place the Lord needed me to be clocking time! And so I caused our home life to be filled with unneeded hurdles.  Christ did not drive my motives in that season-I was listening to me!  Just because the Lord gives me talent and passion for something doesn’t always mean I have to act on it at that exact moment in time.  His timing is absolute.

  I wish I had a mirror like the Evil Queen had in Snow White, or maybe the same kind of mirror Belle carried in Beauty and the Beast but in this fairy tale it replayed images of me through out my day or week giving me pictures of REAL life encounters.  I would be able to see how I acted, reacted, my facial expression and I could watch my decision making process. I need to live life everyday like a football player on the field, knowing I had to go to the field house the next day to watch film over my each move. Yikes, would my motives start to tweak!

  Ultimately, I should do what I do because I serve an all-knowing God who has given me an AWESOME purpose.  If I stay in His word and in constant prayer he guides me every single day, my motives come from Him and not from myself. I become less while He becomes much more! Satan completely and utterly enjoys it when I get all wrapped up in myself, my own worries, anxious behaviors, worldly pursuits, debilitating me in so many ways that I can’t see past my own nose.  When my motives come from Christ it fills my cup with an overflow-love, wisdom, discernment, direction, purpose, focus, etc.  In Matthew 12:34 it talks about, “For out of the overflow the mouth speaks.” It continues in the following verse to explain where good is stored up good comes out and where evil is stored-evil comes out; therefore selfish motives will always be brought to light! I ask myself, where are my motives coming from-Me? Or Him? I need to let Him use me His way.

Lord, please give me the heart to do all things for you and not for myself.  Please give me the ability to change my ways when they are not. Amen

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See…Being Mindful of TV Choices

  

There is a children’s song that goes through some of the five senses telling kids to “be careful little hands what you do”…” be careful little mouth what you say”… “be careful little ears what you hear”… and “Be Careful Little Eyes What You See.”  Well, as I figure, in Gods eyes I am still his little child and in fact the song is speaking to me as well as my children.  He cares deeply about the things I see. What I see enters my heart.  King Solomon said in Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life.” We are all convicted about something! I am convinced my conviction is the Lord’s reminder for me to saddle up and get back on the path He has set before me.

 

 A growing conviction for me is TV!  The world’s standards to what is acceptable to watch on TV are NOT the same as the Lord’s.  “Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to his word.” Psalm 119:37 In general the older I have gotten and as each child has entered our lives, my clocked TV time has diminished to about one show a week. I am okay with not watching much TV but that funny feeling inside still remained with the little I did watch.  You know where something feels off or not quite right?  It’s easy to dismiss and justify since I’m not watching anything else during the week.  It was “my” show, “my” one night to relax, and “my” escape from reality.  One night, after watching “MY” show until the credits rolled, I could feel the Holy Spirit suffocating “MY” so called need to watch trashy TV and replace it with a desire to be purposeful with the time He has given me. 

  The show I continued to faithfully tune into was without fail filled with sex, excessive drinking, drugs and did I mention sex?  Having a regular prime time spot during the week and just being renewed for a fourth season; the show has 5.16 MILLION viewers, most in the 18-49 year old range.   The TV had a sneaky way in desensitizing my standards.  To be frank, I was not the one who wrote the show, nor was I personally going to take part in any of the sinful actions so how could watching it be that bad?  “The eye is the lamp of the body, if your eyes are good your whole body will be full of light.”  Matthew 6:22 I honestly believe that what I watch goes straight to my heart, then to the brain to decode.  Unfortunately the icky pieces get left behind in my heart leaving me feeling anxious and uncertain.  Not to mention I can’t erase or undo what I have seen, therefore without fail images will pop into my brain without me even prompting the thought.  The realness of the guilty feelings over a FAKE television show is bizarre!  This got my wheels turning and I started to wonder WHY in the world do I continue to put myself through this week after week?  Is it really worth it? 

  No, it is not worth it!  “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  2 Corinthians 4:18.  Here are my thought processes continued on the topic, (me talking to myself in my head, which I may do a little too often!) “Would I be proud to tell my three girls I watch this stuff? Would I want my girls to EVER watch this kind of TV when they get older?  If I were extremely ill would I spend my time doing this?  What could I be doing instead during this time?  Would I watch this if my in-laws were in the room? Do I want to have conversations about this show with my friends?  Am I inspired or even encouraged by this show?”

  Something silly and downright sad about the whole thing is that I actually feel like I am giving something up.  My inner monologue once again strikes up and reminds me that a sacrifice is those serving in the armed forces fighting for my Freedoms, it’s a mother in Africa starving literally to death and giving her children all the food she can find leaving nothing for herself, it is someone living for Christ in a country that kills for such things or a woman who chooses not to abort her baby-to give birth-then give her baby up for adoption.  Really I am not sacrificing ANYTHING, I am adding one hour back into my week.  My desire is that one hour each week will allow Christ to move mountains, change lives, and encourage women through me.

  I don’t always replace that one extra hour with singing Kumbaya around the campfire or diving deep into the bible.  Sometimes I find myself walking around in circles trying to remember what in the world I was doing in the first place.  One thing I do accomplish by committing not to watch television shows like the one mentioned above is not filling my mind with worldly thoughts and behaviors.  Either way whether it is the content of the show or the amount of minutes/hours watching television, the Lord will nudge when either is off the mark or unbalanced, just listen!  The Lord has a way of getting my attention if only I will listen and respond.  When I do listen and respond, He changes me for the better. Here are some statistics listed below regarding television:

·      Sexual content has tripled in the last decade

·      95% of Americans watch TV a day

·      An average American watches 4 hours of TV a day- that equals 2 months a year-9 years of TV by the age of 65

·      66% of American’s watch TV at dinner (Dr. Mercola wrote, “TV may have killed the family dinner.”)

·      American Youth clock about 900 hours of school and 1500 hours of television

·      An average child watches 8,000 murders and one hundred thousand acts of violence before finishing elementary school/doubles by the age of 18

If those statistics aren’t alarming enough, the below statistics definitely remind me to keep my body in motion:

·      Late night sedentary TV watching usually leads to snacking, which leads to weight gain!  Less TV=increase in QUALITY of life

·      Obesity has doubled from 1990 to 2010

·      The average American is 24 lbs. heavier than in 1960 (number of homes with TVs increased from 0.4 percent in 1948 to 55.7 percent in 1954 and to 83.2 percent four years later)

·      Nearly 98% of food advertisements and products are unhealthy (In which these ads try to convince us and our children their products are “okay” for our bodies.)

 Television has a way of affecting my attitude (and definitely my children’s!), my emotions, thought process, sleep patterns, and my motivation to workout. 

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  Philippians 4:8.  Piece by piece television changes the way we view our reality, our behaviors change, and our perception comes from an unstable worldly viewpoint. Guard your hearts friends by careful choosing what you allow your eyes to see.  Don’t be an average statistic!

Lord, please give me the discernment each time I turn the TV on.  Help me to honor you in all that my eyes may see.  Amen

http://tvseriesfinale.com

http://stateofobesity.org/obesity-rates-trends-overview/

TV Free America

Fitday.com

http://www.lib.niu.edu/1993/ihy930341.html